All my Handsome men

All my Handsome men
kids fishing weekend 2011

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Past and Present

I have really been struggling to understand what my son Travis is going through as a kid these days. I feel like a horrible mom sometimes for not understanding and I do try and if I don't understand then I call my poor mother and talk to her about it and ask her advice. I know that growing up all kids have difficult times and have to deal with them but things have changed so much these day. I found this picture and it got me thinking about when I was growing up.

(this is a sunset picture of the church steeple where I went to grade school at St. Peters School and Church)

I grew up (thanks to my parents) in a wonderful home and as a child we all had our difficulties like any one but looking back it seems like we hardly had any problems compared to the kids these day. My biggest worry in grade school and Middle school was boys, friends and doing my best in school. I grew up out in the country (something i wish I could do for my kids) and i didn't have a lot of extra "stuff" my favorite pass time was going outside and playing up in trees with my brother or riding my bike through mud puddles. There was no reason to be inside because we only had three channels on the TV and we had watched all the movies we owned lol and video games what r video games lol. Thank you mom and dad I know i might not have liked it as a kid not having kids living next to me and town being 30 minutes away but as an adult I wish i could go back there sometimes. Now in schools today the biggest worries for my son are of course GIRLS!!!!, friends, making the best grades he can, and unfortunatly pressures to drink and smoke and do drugs. I can only praythat we have given him the tools in know how to say no and make it through these difficult times. Travis has told us of kids who are in his class (this is when he was in 6th grade mind you) who drink and do drugs and smoke and they were only 12 years old. It scares me to think that we have lost control of our children this much. I am lucky my husband is around to be there for Travis as his Dad because he is the one that keeps Travis' head on straight. I feel like I don't know what i am doing anymore lol. I tell my husband that I will do the work when they are little if he will take over the hard stuff when they get older lol. Just joking of course lol well mostly joking. He has a cool head when it comes to nderstanding and dealing with boy problems because he understands them I am trying but WOW it is difficult. Travis is now 13 and I am so thankful for my husband being there for Travis and thankful for him being there to help me understand what Travis needs from me because I am in the dark. Well wish us luck through the teen years and I hope this post made sense I was kinda rambling had a lot on my mind and had to get it out


Intense Guy said...

I suspect that you will do just fine - you had a marvelous parenting role model - and probably learned more than you realize from them.

And they say, just recognizing there may be some gasps in your knowledge is a hardest thing and the first step.

Deanna said...

You know hun, as much as everything changes, everything stays the same. I honestly had the same worries you have. Why do you think we never let you ride the school bus? It would have been easier on us, but I always worried about what you would have been exposed to - language, cigarettes, etc. They didn't control school bus behavior back then like they (hopefully) do now. I know living in the country away from all the fun wasn't easy and am glad to know that in hindsight you are grateful (whew).

I worry about everything kids are exposed to today just because of the ease of it all - internet, hundreds of chanels on tv, video games, raunchy songs and of course the age old peer pressure. But you know what? You and Doug are doing a great job. I'm so glad you stay on this very head strong 13 year old. I would be no match for him.

You guys have some double wammy's with the yours, mine and ours situation. Added to that is the total different personalities of your boys that has to be handled in different ways. You guys are doing great!

And poor ol' mom is there for you anytime you need me. Love you.

Tori_z said...

From what I've heard from yourself and your Mom, I'd say you're doing a pretty good job with your boys.

Kids nowadays don't have more things to deal with than kids used to... The issues are just more widely known now. When I was Travis' age, kids were often smoking at a young age. When my Mam was that age, it was the same. The difference between now and then is that all the anti-smoking and anti-drug campaignes are showing the public what is going on, and has been going on for many, many years. All you can do is try to educate your kids as best you can about the dangers of all these things, and hope for the best.

I sort of wish we didn't have all the computer games we do though. People - adults and kids alike - spend too much time indoors on the computer, or watching TV. They should be outside more. In the case of kids: climbing trees, riding bikes, splashing about in rivers, playing ball, etc. And, in the case of adults: walking, riding bikes, and - if they're sporty people - participating in sports. But instead people sit in front of the computer or TV, watching shhows and looking up information about the camping trips, hikes, etc, they'd like to take, but never taking them.

AliceKay said...

From what little I know of you from this blog, I think you (and your husband) will do just fine getting Travis thru his teen years. There are lots of peer pressure for kids these days, but I'm sure he'll be okay with the decisions he makes. Keep your eyes and ears open and "listen" when he's with you sharing his day and everything will be fine.

I was raised like you....climbing trees, building forts, playing ball, and having fun outside with my friends.

jewelzmomof4 said...

Thanks everyone I appreciate the words of encouragment. I know that Travis has a good head on his shoulders and I like to think the my husband and I have given him the tools he needs to get through his teen year. Well my husband and me and my wonderful parents i should say. I agree with you all things are probably the same as they were then but more out in the open and talked about ALL the time so it makes us all aware. Yes Iggy I do have wonderful role models and I still to this day look up to both of them and look to them for advice more often than I like to admit sometimes lol. Mom I am glad that even though the school bus is still crazy it is monitored very well with assigned seats and cameras on the bus also so I feel a little better about sending the boys on the bus. AliceKay I loved growing up where we did and having so much land to roam and have the freedom to wander all over and not worry about someone hurting me. If someone was on our property and didn't belong they were lost lol. Thank you mom and dad for giving us the life we had and we try to give them the same values you taught me and Tessa and Greg.

ChicagoLady said...

I agree with everything that's been said so far. Just knowing what you don't understand will help you through the difficulties. You and Doug will complement each other as you teach Travis and give him guidance through what will most likely be some of the toughest years of his childhood.